Fake News Website Claims DeQuincy Banned Twerking — Don’t Worry, Though, Booty Dancing Still Legal
A website called National Report is claiming today that the Town of DeQuincy has banned twerking, which might be interesting … if it were true. The story is coming from a news parody website. National Report is what would happen if the Huffington Post and The Onion had a baby.
Just in case you’re wondering, though — we confirmed with DeQuincy City Hall that the story is not true. So feel free to get ya twerk on.
Why they picked DeQuincy, we’ll never know. But there’s a few tell-tale signs that the story is false:
Maynard Wilkens who is the Mayor of DeQuincy spoke to CNN about the ban on twerking that takes effect at midnight. “Twerking is a defiant act against Jesus and his teachings. The rest of the country can keep their heads in the sand about this sexual act before marriage, but not the great city of DeQuincy,” Wilkens said. “We will still allow dancing in DeQuincy, just no jigglin’, shakin’ and ‘dry humping’ anywhere in our city limits.”
The first hint is that Maynard Wilkens is not the mayor of DeQuincy (it’s Lawrence Henagan). The article also quotes a “sheriff Bobby Joe Williams,” who is not the sheriff of Calcasieu Parish (that would be Tony Mancuso). The next dead giveaway is that the convicted criminals caught twerking would have to spend 30 days … in the COUNTY jail. You ever heard of counties in Louisiana? Yeah, me neither. The story also claimed the mayor spoke on CNN — also not true. Even the link in the article just jumps to CNN’s home page. That’s just bad fake journalism, dude.
The story gets funnier, though:
24-year-old DeQuincy resident Brandon Adams told reporters he does not agree with the new law. “There is nothing to do in this town, seriously. Twerking is all us kids had left and now they’re taking it away from us,” Adams said. “I don’t see what the big deal is. At least we weren’t out causing trouble, sniffing glue and breaking stuff. I guess we’ll now have to go back to doing that.”
Twerking was all the kids had left, dammit! Can you just see the streets of DeQuincy overrun with twerking kids? All of 4th Street would come to a dead halt as the youth of DeQuincy jiggle their butts all up and down the highway. And now the kids are going to have to go back to SNIFFING GLUE! Look what politics has done to our youth!
It should be noted that making a dance a criminal act would be pretty hard, from a legal point of view. Also, people lie on the Internet, as it turns out. Who knew? So spread the word — twerking is still perfectly legal in DeQuincy. (Technically, so is sniffing glue, but I wouldn’t recommend it.)