It’s Not Them or They, It’s You! — A Guide to a Better You

Lately, I’ve noticed an influx of the blame game, especially from those at home twiddling their thumbs on social media.  In public you pretend to be one way, then when you’re back in the comforts of your home you choose to log onto social media and vent your frustrations at why your life is the way it is. This might seem harsh, but it’s your fault that your life sucks.

Someone is in the same business as you, and you choose to spend time being angry that you have “competition” instead of working on being the best at what you claim to love doing. No one can stop you from being you, but you. Your worst enemy is within yourself. How many ways do I have to explain this?

Here’s an example: I’ve been a professional Dj for over a decade now, and I still get people who complain about the price I charge for services. It’s simple, if you can’t afford what I have to offer feel free to get it somewhere else. I won’t be offended, because I understand that it’s out of your budget. Of course, I didn't always feel that way.

I've had friends talk up other djs in my face like I was chopped liver, or so I felt. It bothered me, because I wanted to be the best. I felt as if no other Dj was as dedicated or worked as hard as I did to become Dj Big Boy Chill. I knew I had something that no one else in my market had to offer, but why did I need validation if I knew what I was capable of? It took me a while, but I found out I didn’t need validation. What any other Dj had going on did not affect what I was doing, or had planned to do furthermore.

Whatever wasn’t happening for me at the time, or at the rate that I wanted it to happen, was within my control. I had the power to change my way of thinking, as well as my approach, and even my location on the map if it came down to it. If you’re not happy with how things are going in your life, don’t complain, do something about it. Also, blessings don’t come to those who spite others.

I’ve learned and accepted that what stands between your success is YOU. It's easy to place the blame on someone else for how YOUR life is going. It's not anyone's fault but your own, that your rap career, athletic career, clothing line, restaurant, or etc. hasn't taken off as you expected. Don’t give up. Keep working to become better. The time you spend worrying about what someone else is or isn’t doing, is time you can’t get back. It’s time for you to spend that wasted time in becoming a better YOU.

Before you blame someone else for what hasn't happened in your life again, make a list of your pros and cons. Dig deep and be honest with yourself about the things you want to change. You might even find out that you’re not as good as you thought you were at said “talent" or career choice. Your "rap career” failing to take off is not the end of the world. No matter what you choose to do, it will take work to be successful. There are zero short cuts to success on any level.

Some of you won’t change. Being condescending is what you’re best at. You’re arrogant, conceited, pompous, pretentious, showy, superficial, vain, and out right too proud to admit that you don’t know it all. In fact, you don’t know jack s**t. You think you’ve made it already. You want life served to you on a silver platter. You wan’t the game (knowledge) for free. You want what it takes people years to accomplish to happen overnight. News flash, that’s not how any of this works!

Worry about what you’ve got going on and stop letting your competitive nature turn you into “crabs in the bucket,” or the popular "hater."  Making derogatory remarks about someone else’s success or their way of achieving success won’t get you closer to your own.

Stop blaming others for your shortcomings in life.