Five Things You Might Want From Big Boy Chill’s Amazon Wishlist
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Whenever I come across certain items on Amazon I save them with the intent of purchasing them eventually. Some items on my wishlist are there for reasons that an explanation could not save me from judgment. All of these items are actually on my Amazon wishlist and will be purchased at some point in the future. You might like them enough to buy some for yourself.
Released one year after I was born, it was about six years later before I was actually allowed to watch and enjoy the 1984 film Gremlins. It was a huge box office success and received an even bigger cult following, which is why I'm still a fan today. Gremlins, a comedy horror film, is based during the holiday season, so it receives lots of television play around this time of year. I look forward to watching it each year far more than A Christmas Story. I came across this shirt recently and decided to save it to add to my growing t-shirt collection.
I figured what better way to be prepared in case of a gremlins attack on the city. If I'm forced to rappel from a window to escape, these seemingly sturdy-looking carabiners might just come in handy. Don't judge my imagination.
The fact is, they look cool, and offer a convenient way to hook your keys to your belt loop like the dweebs we've all grown to become.
Just in case the gremlins show up while I'm sleeping, these motion sensor night lights should keep them at bay for a moment and give me time to rappel from my first-floor window. Yes, I was afraid of the dark for a short period as a child. So, what?
Truthfully, the real reason this item is on my list is because of my father. He turns all of the lights off in the house at night because he thinks it "saves money on the light bill". Meanwhile, he feels his way around the house in the dark bumping into random items that my mother leaves in the hallway. I figured this would help, but then again, he'll probably just unplug them too.
You've guessed it! This is how I plan to get rid of the gremlins when they attack. I'll probably burn down the house in the process, but that's the cost of feeding your Mogwai after midnight.
Seriously. I don't know why this is on my Amazon list. I think it has something to do with cooking. Allegedly.
By chance you don't burn the house down killing gremlins, the clean up is going to be messy. Especially after you turned the ceiling fan on and sent the little fictitious monsters flying across the room. Now you've got gremlin juices on everything. Yuck! I promise you won't be as happy as the lady in the product photo. You might want to throw a hazmat suit into your shopping cart just to be safe.
In all seriousness, at this very moment, your ceiling fan is full of dust bunnies and you should be ashamed of yourself. You invite friends over only to have random balls of dust fall into their lap. You laugh it off and say "I was supposed to clean that this week." Truth is, you weren't' going to clean it, and you probably never will. But behold! Today is the day you take that leap of faith and clean those dusty blades and make momma proud.
I'm talking about myself.