Louisiana Cruise Guests, Have You Visited Carnival’s ‘Naughty Room’?

Several times a week you can see them at the Port of New Orleans. I am speaking of the ocean-going cruise ships that tie up near the convention center on the Mississippi River. If you've ever been on a cruise then you know it is as if you have stepped into an entirely different country. And the more time you spend on cruise ships you will learn there is an entirely different language that is spoken.

No, I am not talking about the many different nationalities of cruise guests you'll meet on an ocean-going voyage, I am speaking of the "cruise ship lingo" that we all seem to learn by the time we disembark at the end of our journey.

Who knew that we'd be able to tell which side was "port" and which side was "starboard"? Those are easy terms to understand. If you don't know the difference, let me teach you. Port has four letters so does Left, Starboard has "r" in it so does Right, that's how I remember.

Are You Familiar With the "Naughty Room"?

Let's talk for a minute about the word "naughty". The dictionary defines naughty as disobedient; badly behaved. While that is an accurate reflection of the word's meaning it's not the "naughty" we usually think about when we are discussing consenting adults who have been drinking and lying around in skimpy swimsuits all day.

Yeah, it's kind of like the difference between naked and nekkid. Naked means you have no clothes on and nekkid means you have no clothes on and you're up to something.

So, in the case of Carnival Cruise Lines and their "Naughty Room" are we talking about a place where inhibitions and social graces are left at the door, or is this more a room for reprimands?

Sorry, This Ain't Like the Louisiana Swingers Trailer Park

No, the "Naughty Room" on Carnival Cruise Lines is not a place to live out your wildest fantasy. Unless you have a fantasy of being searched by security personnel and questioned about your purchases while onshore. By the way, whatever happened to that alleged swingers trailer park that was being built in South Louisiana?

The room in question is actually the security inspection room. It's usually located on the lower decks of the vessel and it's where guests will go to have their luggage, backpacks, shopping bags, et al searched. It's during these searches that cruise security details discover banned items and other contraband that is not allowed on board.

It was a pair of medical scissors that got me invited to the naughty room on a recent voyage. No, the scissors weren't mine but they were in a pocket in my backpack and the x-ray machine picked them up and the security detail wanted a closer look.

No, it's never fun having your personal belongings rifled through. But, the folks were just doing their job and I didn't really need the scissors so no harm no foul. But just remember every cruise line has a list of banned items. Check that list out before you pack and leave home. Unless you want to tell your friends that you were a special guest in the "naughty room".