This date December 10 will never be forgotten as it is the 2nd year that my family will be going into Christmas without my brother. This is also hard for me as this is the second son that my mother has lost. His name was Johnny, but we used to call him Big Dogg/ Doll. I don't remember how he actually got the nick name, but since I was a child that is what we called him. As you can see we were not truly sure of which one it was, but we rolled with it.

My brother was a smoker from the teen age years and it carried over to his adult life. However, one year he went for a visit to his doctor and the doctor pointed into a room with another one of his patient. He firmly told my brother that the man you see in that room won't be here next week. If you keep smoking like you are, you're gonna be right with him.

My brother quit cold turkey and never looked back. He survived well over another ten years after that conversation until the Monday morning of December 10. My brother James called me and all I could hear was my mother screaming in the background. I will never forget that day and my mothers cries.

Today I celebrate my brother as he was a mans man and would do anything for anyone without hesitation. I loved him then and I love him even more now. I miss picking up the phone and talking to him and seeing him when I got home. I know he is in a better place and with this pandemic, this could have been even more vital on his health. So I am truly happy that he doesn't have to endure this and is no longer suffering. My Christmas' will never be the same, but as we have for the past two years. We will work our way through it and continue pushing for Big Dogg.

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