Top 10 Alternate Ways to Travel While the I-10 Bridge in Lake Charles Is Being Built

Well, y’all… it’s finally happening. The I-10 Calcasieu River Bridge in Lake Charles—aka the most anxiety-inducing slab of concrete in the state—is finally being replaced. After decades of warnings, shaky headlights, no shoulders, no lights, low railings, a prayer, and a pistol (literally), they’re tearing it down to build something that, God willing, won’t make your life flash before your eyes every time you cross it.

This bridge wasn’t even meant to be part of I-10 in the first place. It was built in 1948 when the most traffic it saw was probably one truck and a Model T. Fast forward to now and it’s got more pressure on it than your grandma’s pressure cooker on New Year’s Day. Two skinny lanes, no shoulder, no lights, and railings shorter than a toddler on their first Mardi Gras float. It's a miracle and a blessing that thing is still standing.

And now they’re finally building a new one. Praise be! BUT—(and it’s a big ol’ Louisiana but)—all that east and westbound traffic is about to get shoved onto the I-210 loop bridge. Which, spoiler alert: ain’t much better. That bridge came along in 1962 and also has no shoulders, no lights, and only two lanes each way. Sounds familiar, huh?

So get ready, because traffic in Lake Charles is about to be a real-life episode of Swamp People meets Fast & Furious: Backroads Bayou Edition. You think you’re just going to work? Nah, baby. You’re in an unpaid extra role for the next Mad Max movie.

But don’t worry—we’ve come up with some alternate travel solutions. Some practical. Most not. All of them—funnier than trying to explain to an out-of-towner how to pronounce "Tchoupitoulas.."

Top 10 Alternate Ways to Travel While the I-10 Bridge Is Being Built

1.) Use a Time Machine
Travel to a time when this bridge didn’t exist… or when they should’ve fixed it in the '80s. Either way, you’ll beat the traffic and your own sanity.

2.) Horseback
Because if we’re gonna be stuck in traffic, we might as well do it like our ancestors did—on a trusty horse named “Traffic Jam” trottin’ down Ryan Street like it’s Trail Ride Friday.

3.) Voodoo
Cast a spell to teleport, or hex the traffic light system. Either way, it's probably more effective than LA DOTD right now.

4.) Kayak
Slow? Yes. Wet? Probably. Still faster than trying to get across town at 5 PM.

5.) Airboat
Recommended only if you want to get to work and clear out everyone’s backyard crawfish boil on the way.

6.) Bicycle
Great cardio. Bad idea. Unless you’ve got nerves of steel and thighs like the Atchafalaya Basin levee.

7.) Paddle Boat
Look cute while going absolutely nowhere. Good for dates, bad for deadlines.

8.) Hot Air Balloon
Might take you three hours to ascend, but at least you’ll avoid every pothole in Calcasieu Parish.

9.) Walk
You’ll still get there faster than traffic—just bring sunscreen, bug spray, and probably a lawyer just in case.

10.) Work From Home
The only logical option. Bonus: No one has to see you cussin’ like a sailor on your “commute.”

Because sometimes you gotta laugh to keep from cryin'. Though I am sure everyone is happy to know Lake Charles is getting a newer, and much safer bridge. I am just as sure, that none of us are looking forward to the traffic chaos, especially if crossing the bridges is part of your daily commute. If you need a good laugh, feel free to refer to this post for mental therapy.