Father’s Day is this Sunday, June 19, and people are scrambling at the last minute trying to figure out what to get dad. The biggest problem with last minute shopping is that you will probably get him some crappy gift that you feel should suffice. It’s normally a gift so thoughtless and cheap, that it would likely piss you off if someone gave it for you as a gift.

Put yourself in dads shoes, what would make him most happy? What does he really like?

Maybe you have a dad like mine who isn’t hard to impress, and loves whatever you do for him, because after all it is the thought that counts. Let’s be clear, it’s not about any of that, this is about your crappy selection of gifts.

Give dad the same treatment you gave mom for Mother’s Day, and don’t give me that “I’m a single mother, so I was daddy and momma” crap. YOU ARE A MOTHER, NOT A FATHER. It’s called “Father’s Day” for a reason.

For the dad who would give everything to make sure his child doesn’t go without, this list is dedicated to you!

  • PeJo29/ThinkStock
    1

    Underwear

    Boxers, Briefs, Socks, T-Shirts

    Unless the underwear were made from lace and lit candles, and a slow jamz mixtape were involved, I have yet to meet a man who get's excited about underwear.

    Most guys are fine with wearing their “drawse" until the ass part is completely gone. I’m not a part of that group, but I get it. Ok, maybe when I was a kid I had some less than acceptable under garments. If my undies get a hole these days, in the trash they go.

  • Mario Ragma Jr./ThinkStock
    2

    Cologne

    Cologne I say? Yes, because dad always seems to get the worst fragrance on planet earth. Chances are, it will sit in the top drawer next to the underwear you got him, never to be worn except on special occasions, or when he runs out of the cologne he really likes.

  • NiseriN/ThinkStock
    3

    Golf Clubs

    “I think I’m going to take up golf this year.” No, he won’t.

    Those golf clubs will sit in a closet or corner and collect dust, or become an extension for everyone in the house to reach things in high places.

    God forbid someone breaks into your home while you’re there, those clubs would make a great weapon to defend yourself. I’m just saying.

    Ok, maybe golf clubs aren’t a completely bad idea, but you get the point that chances are they won’t get used for what they were intended for. If that was the case golf would be America’s most televised sport.

    Sidenote: Don’t go trying to kill that harmless little bug on the wall with the golf clubs either, or else dad will need number 4 on my list to fix what YOU messed up.

  • Les Cunliffe/ThinkStock
    4

    Tools

    "This is exactly what dad wants for Father’s Day, because the Sears commercial said so.”

    I love tools just like any other man, but the new generation of dads also like shoes, trips, being taken out to eat, and much more. The last thing dad may want to do is think about the stuff he has to fix because the kids broke it, or his wife has a lengthy “honey do” list awaiting in her pocket.

    Unless he whole heartedly asks for tools, don’t get him tools.

  • diego_cervo
    5

    Pregnancy Test

    Specifically after you’ve had one or more children already.

    “I think it would be sooooo cute if I gave him the pregnancy test on Father’s Day. He would just freak!”

    You’re damn right he’s going to freak. The one day a year he gets the right to sit back and relax, you decide to drop a bombshell on him that you’re pregnant, again. I’m not saying it’s not a great idea, but personally that seems overwhelming. I’d rationalize the decision thoroughly before I dropped the “b” word on him on Father’s Day. I’m talking about “baby,” chill out.

    Additional kids mean more bills, and number 4 to help turn his man cave into the new nursery.

    Sorry dad.