Let me just stop you right there. There are no good reasons for slavery, at least not for anyone with an ounce of human decency. So why would Our Redeemer Lutheran School in Wisconsin ask fourth-graders to provide three good reasons for the ugliest stain on the soul of our nation?

Who knows. Then again, racism has always pretty bad about never making any sense to begin with, so we'll probably never figure out why anyone would ever think this nonsense was a good idea.

Sure, the assignment also asked students to list three bad reasons for slavery, but the damage from the first part of the assignment was already done.

If forced to list three good reasons for slavery, I guess they'd go something like this:

  1. This assignment is stupid and racist and horrible.
  2. Just give me an F.
  3. Go on and call my mom, then! I don't care.

Here's a thought: how about, instead of asking students to list three good or bad reasons for slavery, schools just teach that THERE HAS NEVER BEEN, NOR WILL THERE EVER BE, A GOOD REASON FOR PEOPLE OWNING OTHER PEOPLE.

It's not that hard, y'all.

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